Let them talk, let them think bad about you, let them!

How to get rid of your fear of rejection, your pleasing behavior and your insecurity

"Let them" a theory by Mel Robbins. She shares the enormous impact of this simple tool all over the world: "Let them..."

Are you afraid of what others think of you? Your partner isn't doing what you agreed to, and you're furious about it? You do your best to be at your parents' house on time, but at the very last minute, your child needs something from you. Your parents complain about how late you always are.

"Let them." Let the other person think whatever they want. You can't change it anyway. Don't let your partner keep their promises; it's in their hands, not yours. Let your parents complain; you can't do them justice anyway. Let them!

Let go of what you can't control: the other person. What they do and think. How they react to you. How they interpret your behavior. How they feel. The other person is beyond your control.

Do you know the circle of influence?

Diminish your stress, anxiety & frustration in everyday life

The Circle of Influence shows: there are things in life you have no control over. Namely, the circle outside of you, the white circle. You only have influence on your "ME-circle," the green circle, and what lies within it.

You feel stressed, anxious, insecure, frustrated, and disappointed when your focus is outside your circle. These are things you can't change anyway. No matter how hard you try and take (apparent) control, you will feel the frustration and fear over and over again. It's true; this is exhausting and drains all your energy. You're being lived instead of living your life.

What if I told you there is another possibility?

The "ME-circle"! Your focus on your behavior, your choices, your reactions to emotions and thoughts . And wow, that feels so good! Confidence, inner peace, joy, and control over your life. No longer a victim of your life, but back in control.

YOU have influence!!!

On yourself!

The Circle of Influence in Daily Life

Honestly, you might read this and it might sound logical. Often, it just stays that way. Another theory learned that sounds good and will be helpful. What really matters is: are you going to do something with it? I invite you to start today, give it a week. Experience it, discover it, and then decide again whether or not you want to continue.

Step one is awareness. When are you living outside your circle and when are you living within your "ME-circle"?

Take a week and keep track of your behavior and reactions to situations, people, emotions, and thoughts.

After this, draw the circle and fill in your observations.

After you become more aware of it: use "Let them...".

Let people think what they want, let them react how they want, let their emotions and thoughts flow. Let your boss decide not to promote you. Let them, let them, let them!

Honestly, after the first "Let them," you'll probably continue to ruminate, please others, and sit on the couch in frustration. So, repeat it. Keep saying "Let them..." to yourself 20 times and feel what happens in your body!

"Okay, I say 'Let them...', what now? I can't just do nothing, can I?

Focus on you!

That's right, the best part comes now, namely "Let me...".

Let me realize that I've done everything I could under the circumstances. Let me think well of myself. Let me express that I'm not happy when my partner breaks his promises. Let me make sure I listen to myself and do what my heart desires. Let me pursue further education to further my development and ultimately get that promotion at this company or another. Let me appreciate and recognize what I've accomplished so far. Let me be myself.

I love the "Let Me" step. You return to where you belong: your circle of influence, the "me circle." I want to ask you to really experience it. Because wow, what confidence it gives! Confidence that you can handle everything, no matter what happens. Appreciation for yourself, that you are allowed to be just the way you are.

I would love to hear of you! Your discoveries and experience with the Circle of Influence and "Let them..." theory.

If you'd like to reflect on your emotions and patterns, you're very welcome at "Move to Feel." Body-oriented therapy, private yoga, and a private handstand workshop offer valuable insights into your inner life. Let's take steps together toward a life of confidence, courage, and joy! Click here for more information.